A couple of years ago I discovered a way to get people talking to me at parties rather than smiling politely and walking away – I would tell them I’m a hypnotherapist.  I’m assuming that the previous lack of interest was related to the fact that I used to be an accountant (which I would staunchly defend as not being a boring job at all, honest, but most people believe that it is). Or maybe I’ve just improved my small talk over the years!

Anyway, what I found was that most people have an idea of what hypnotherapy is either from seeing a stage hypnotist or from knowing someone who has used it to help them stop smoking or to lose weight. But not so many people are aware of what hypnotherapy actually is or the wide range of issues it can help with.

So, what is hypnotherapy then?

The technical definition is that it’s a therapy taken with the subject in hypnosis.

Uh? So what’s hypnosis then?

Ah, well, hypnosis is a naturally induced state of mind in which the mind is distracted or preoccupied, thus allowing statements or suggestions to bypass the critical factor and enter the subconscious mind. To put it simply, it’s like a day dream, or when you drift off during a boring meeting (I’m sure you’ve all experienced one of those in the past!).

The subconscious mind is the part of our mind that influences the way we think, feel, react and the choices we make. But it can also affect the physiological processes, such as our hormone balance or our perception of pain.

So, going back to what hypnotherapy is. Hypnotherapy uses this state of hypnosis, together with imagery, suggestion and other therapeutic techniques to help you achieve positive change.

I don’t have a magic wand, and I don’t know of any hypnotherapists that do, so we can’t cure you or make you change, or even make you want to change. You have to do this yourself and you have to want to do this yourself. We can, however, help you to find your way and help you to stay on track with a little gentle challenging along the way.

So, what’s it good for then?

I specialise in providing hypnotherapy for fertility, birthing and post natal issues, but see clients for a wide range of other issues as well, including anxiety, phobias, smoking cessation, weight loss, self-esteem and even tinnitus and IBS.

My decision to specialise in hypnotherapy for fertility and birthing was sparked by my own journey through fertility treatments.  Courtesy of IVF and the power of positive thinking I have two beautiful children that keep me on my toes.

I love my job (and that’s something I couldn’t say hand on heart as an accountant – although, it really wasn’t boring, honest!) and I love helping people to make positive changes in their life.

If you want to know more about how hypnotherapy could help you then you could take a look at my website www.cariadhypnotherapy.co.uk – and, if you see me at a party, remember, I’m always happy to have a chat with anyone interested in talking to me!

Thanks to Tracy Jones from Cariad Hypnotherapy for this week’s guest post. If you’d like more information about specific topics, Tracy is happy to do follow up posts. Please feel free to share your experiences.

The school summer holiday has really brought home to me that my family only needs the simple things in life to be happy. And I musn’t lose sight of this in the weeks to come as we get back into the routine of school, activities and the general busy-ness that is our ‘normal’ family life.

When we were in Germany, our best days were when we were out walking, or on our bikes, or den building in a forest – together, and enjoying the

Den building - it's free and fun!

beautiful countryside. The boys had so much fun with yoghurt pots collecting crickets along the roadside that we didn’t go as far as expected on our walk. Was that a problem? Of course not! Why stop them having fun exploring the world around us?

When we have friends to play, the boys like nothing more than taking their friends to ‘their patch’ in the garden to make ‘mud pies’ or ‘hot chocolate’. I usually have to apologise for the mud splattered children I send home, but they’ve got such big smiles on their faces, is a bit of mud on their clothes a problem?

We see pictures of children kicking stones, or if they’re lucky, footballs, in developing countries. It is a simple pleasure to play with friends a simple game with 1 piece of equipment. My boys love football, and even though they both play for a local team now, they love playing in the garden/park together and with others. Do they really need expensive trainers and kits to get the most out of this activity time together? I don’t believe they do.

Another pleasure that they discovered this holiday was crabbing on Conwy Quay. They spent their pocket money, jointly, to get the equipment they needed £4 for 2 crab lines, 1 bucket and 1 lot of bait. They were happy for 3 hours! Hubby wasn’t relaxed due to their proximity to the side of the quay, but there were no accidents, so all was well!

And yesterday. My one and only day with my boys during the holidays, was spent with friends. And what did they all do? Made a den, gunge & picked blackberries for tea! Yes the weather was glorious, but 4 children, (8yo to almost 4yo), created their own entertainment with a bucket, a plastic spoon and a plastic box!

How do I keep the magic of simple in our lives? I feel like I’m going to have to ‘plan’ it in to our week. Why is this? We all love simple pleasures, so why don’t we just focus on those things we enjoy doing instead of the other things that seem to take priority? No idea, but it’s going to be challenging keeping things simple.

I’d like to know how you keep things simple in your lives.

My regular readers will know that my sons are 8 and 6. Those perceptive readers will also know that my other ‘baby’ is my business. bras4mums is also 6 years old.

It’s easy to watch the development of a baby grow into a toddler, even if we may crave the long cuddles with a newborn. I found it easy to watch the

Letting children grow up & move on

boys start school as they were so desparate to go and I could see that they were ready for the next stage in their personal and social development.

But it is NOT easy to step back and watch your business develop. It may all be part of an overall business plan, but this creature that you’ve personally created is now not going to be soley yours. You’re letting someone else in to share building the vision and actioning the plan. I’ve had one member of staff for 2 1/2 years now, and Debbie shares my passion for ensuring women are fitted correctly in the right bra for them during pregnancy and when breastfeeding. Debbie quickly learnt to offer excellent customer service (one of the reasons why she got the job), and will go the extra mile to help customers feel reassured down the phone or at the end of an email about their order.

So why am I now so hesitant? Even though I am so excited about training bra fitters who will offer a home bra fitting service in their area across the UK, I’m also nervous. When training 2 agents on Monday I said to them, “It’s not easy for me to pass the baton on”. I’m certain my training and support will be excellent. I’m certain they will build fantastic businesses with bras4mums and bras4all behind them and working with them. But, from a business point of view, I’m letting strangers take my business forward. Trained strangers admittedly. Ones I’m getting references for, (but we all know that references aren’t always fail safe!). And I’m going to let them work with pregnant and breastfeeding women in their area? On behalf of bras4mums?

Likening it to letting my children grow up and go their own ways, it’s somehow simpler. I trust my children to grow and develop to have fun in life and live life to the full – with my love and support. The same with my agents. With my care, support and love of my business and the women I support across the world, so they will grow and develop into excellent business women and more importantly, fantastic bra fitters. All the ingredients are there for developing the business. I just need to have faith in myself, trust my processes for recruiting and training, then let my agents fly off under my trained eye, supported by the team and each other.

Easy? We’ll see!

Blogging to make a difference

This week’s guest post is the start of something really special. If you’ve heard about this campaign, or seen it elsewhere great, but read again so you don’t forget. If you haven’t take your time and read and digest, then think about what difference you can make to someone’s life today.

I’ve been keeping a secret from you. It’s a bit of a big one and it’s going to take me to the other side of the world. But first we need to back-track a little. First we need to do some Maths.

It’s always a bit hard to get your head round big numbers, I guess. When you start talking about nine million children, nine million children a year dying from preventable, poverty-related illnesses, it’s hard to engage which such a huge, impersonal number.

So, let’s start with one child. One mother. Whose child gets sick. Something simple like a tummy bug, most of which us parents have dealt with at one point or another with our own children. And the treatment that will cure it? Costs a couple of quid. Except THIS mother comes from one of the poorest countries in the world, one of 86% of the world’s population surviving on less than two dollars a day, or even one of 36% of the world’s population surviving on less than ONE dollar a day. If you’re this mother you’re probably dependent on your own young children to work and help bring in enough money to survive. Chances are your sick child is already severely underweight, and watching Kai go through a horrendous tummy bug earlier in the year I know how quickly even fit, chunky toddlers can lose weight and get dehydrated.

Your child needs help fast. But you can’t pay the doctor’s fees. And so you watch your child die. From something entirely preventable. You watch your child die not because they had a tummy bug, but because they were poor.

NOW times that by nine million. Every year.

Not good, is it? There is no way that can be right.

A couple of weeks ago, I and two other bloggers were approached by Save the Children UK. As a global organisation they’re doing more than almost any other charity to fight to make the above scenario a thing of the past, pushing the world’s leaders to meet the Millennium Development Goals they pledged their commitment to ten years ago.

These are achievable goals. We’re not talking huge amounts of money here, even in the economic down-turn of many countries. It’s less about money and far more about priorities. It’s about making the fact that so many poor children are dying every year a priority.

Not a lot to ask.

And they want the British Parent Blogging community, and our friends and supporters, to help them do it. To help raise awareness of their work and spread the word. To be able to tell our children that once it was normal for children to die of easily treatable illnesses but that WE CHANGED THAT.

To launch the campaign, in two weeks, Save the Children are flying myself, Sian from Mummy Tips and Eva from NixdMinx out to Bangladesh for a week, one of the most poverty-stricken countries in the world. We will be seeing their work first-hand, seeing what a difference just tiny amounts of intervention can make, talking to the mothers and children there and hearing their stories, and feeding the whole thing back to you, live, through our writing via our blogs, and via Twitter, photos, video, podcasts and other multi-media channels. It is an incredible opportunity, one we are hugely honoured to be a part of.

We hope that, with your support, we can reach a huge number of people through our work, spread our message far and wide and really make a difference, really start something special, and drive this campaign.

We hope you’ll join us on that journey.

For more information on our project see our webpage on the Save The Children website and pledge your support by adding the badge to your blog. And don’t forget to  read our blogs,  follow us individually on Twitter and via the #blogladesh hashtag for all the latest developments, and re-tweet what you can.

We are:

Josie, that’s me! @porridgebrain

Eva, NixdMinx, @nixdminx

Sian, Mummy Tips, @mummytips

@SaveChildrenPR

We’re going to have an amazing adventure. We can’t wait to share it with you and use it to do something extraordinary.

Thank you.

I’ve been shortlisted for Business Parent of the Year in the Mum and Working Awards this week. I’m SO EXCITED!

I've been shortlisted for this award!

It’s the first ever award that I’ve been recognised in, (no idea how many I’ve entered in though). I first heard about it from a tweet congratulating me on making the shortlist. I was supposed to be cleaning at the time, and was checking online for something else. Needless to say I got sidetracked! I grinned from ear to ear, (still am, truth be known!), checked up what it was all about and checked out my ‘competition’. I was even more chuffed knowing that some of the other names on the list are holders of numerous awards.

To me, this award nomination is a public recognition of the work I’ve done in setting up bras4mums whilst being a Mum of 2 small boys. It recognises the challenges that life throws at us as people and Business Parents. It’s a pat on the back that I’m ‘doing a good job’ within the business as well as growing and developing it in the same way I support my children’s development. It makes all the hard work, sleepless nights and worry worthwhile to know that someone out there, and now a few more people ‘out there’ know about bras4mums, and what I’m trying to achieve with my vision.

The newest part of business development is the recruitment and training of bra fitting agents who are women wanting to offer a home bra fitting service in their area. Some of these are women with families are wanting to do something worthwhile and earn some money. Others see it as a great opportunity to work the hours they want doing an unusual but very rewarding job, fitting it around their family. We’ve been overwhelmed by the response to this opportunity, and are looking forward to working with women across the UK to develop their own businesses with bras4mums.

So, others may not see this award as meaning much. But I don’t see it that way at all. It’s raised my self-esteem when motivation has been flagging with the last six months website problems, (will write about it soon – too raw still at the moment!). My husband has felt rewarded that others outside our friendship and family circle recognise the work and importance of bras4mums as a business and my role within its development. We’re excited about hearing if I’ll reach the next round and get to have a night in a hotel without the children sleeping on the floor. I’m sure it’ll be a business expense – won’t it?.

Yes, all this excitement and buzz from customers, followers, fans and potential customers plus how it’s making me feel – this award nomination is really worth it. Thank you judges :~)

With running my own business, and very active children, it’s not always easy to plan family time into our week. The last couple of years have been difficult to get holidays just for us to relax into, (see previous posts). Even though we had a fabulous week in Islay at Easter, it was only a week. It usually takes me a week to start getting into a holiday and relaxing!

View from our holiday home

So, our 2 weeks in a quiet part of Germany were going to be great for all of us. And they were.

Despite some work problems that I had to resolve remotely well into our second week, and Father-in-law’s up and down health issues, we all had a fabulous time. People are commenting this week that I look very different, so it must have been good!

We spent time doing things that we all enjoy – walking, cycling, exploring new places and having lots of fun. We don’t make enough time to ‘just have fun’ at home do we? I loved going on the trampoline in the garden. The boys had never seen me bouncing – nor had hubby! There is video proof if you don’t believe me! The 1800m summer toboggan run was the favourite activity of the holiday for all of us. How much fun is rushing down a hill at high speed cuddling your laughing child?

We found we could all be ourselves. We didn’t have to ‘do this’, make sure work was completed; washing didn’t have to be done ‘for that event’, yet we all survived with clean clothes all week! The boys loved catching crickets in yoghurt pots – how easy is that to organise?

So now we know we can play the card game Happy Families (how funny was 6yo when he laughed out loud when people forgot where the cards were? – very!), can we translate some of our relaxed fun to our home life? I’m sure we can try. These are the lessons I want to try and bring home:

• Plan time to be ourselves without anyone else around. Friends and family are great, but we can have fun by ourselves.
• Just do some fun things all together, occasionally. Don’t just leave it until the holidays!
• Plan the bike rides and walks into our diary – maybe after football matches that we’re around for?

I’m not saying we’ll be able to stick to this with other family and work commitments, but why should the fun and relaxation be saved for holidays? We all need a lot more of it in our everyday lives.

This post was written and first published at Typecast2000 blog. As I’m away on holiday, I thought it would be good to share over here as well, as I’m sure you’ll have your own comments about this! Will enjoy reading them on my return.

We don’t have a telly, or a TV card in our house. No means at all of receiving or watching live television. Yet, we have 2 active boys -8yo and 6yo, and we all love watching sport.

The conversation came to a head in the run up to the World Cup (football in case you’ve missed the news recently). My husband felt that maybe now was the time to get a TV in the house. He’s been muttering for a while now about getting one now the boys are getting older.

But “why?” I kept asking. Why do we need something that will sit in one of our family rooms that will become the focus of attention in that room and not each other, or lego, or books that we currently have (all at once today left on the floor!).

Why do we need this piece of machinery that people say “wastes their time” when there’s “nothing on”, (listen to Bruce Springsteen’s song “57 Channels and nothing on”). I hear of parents who leave their children just watching whatever, for however long. It scares me that these children don’t develop their own imagination in quite the same way as those where TV watching is limited.

Why do we need to be forced to have another restriction added to our busy family timetable when the children or hubby declare “Oh, I MUST watch xyz at something o’clock”. MUST? Why so strong? I’ve ‘managed’ without a television since I started work 15 years ago and couldn’t afford the TV licence. I can’t say I’ve ever missed it.

Am I missing something? We certainly haven’t missed having it during the world cup. I’m pleased we haven’t had no.1 son constantly wanting to watch highlights and replays, and have to sit and watch “crucial” games. Yes, BBC5Live has been on a lot, but we can do other things whilst it’s on in the background.

How do you use your telly? For you to “veg out” in front of? For your children to  “wind down” after a hard day at school? Could you manage without a television? Apparently 1% of the population are without televisions. I’m sure we all have our own reasons.

I really cannot see us ever needing or wanting a television. I don’t think the children miss out. I certainly have no idea where I would get time to watch telly! The boys are very creative and imaginative. They play, do sports, go to Beavers and Cubs. They enjoy music and dancing, laughing and computer games and playing with friends.

So, what am I/are we missing out on? I’d love to hear your views.

Guest post by Kay Hammond from Family and Parenting

This weeks’ guest post is about Reiki. I’ve had 4 sessions this year when working out that I needed to do something to help myself get back to normal after a traumatic couple of years. Reiki has worked for me, so I’m delighted that Carolyn, from Nurturing Life,  is making a start at explaining it for me!

Reiki (pronounced Ray-key) comes from the Japanese Rei and Ki meaning Universal Life Force. It refers to the energy that is everywhere around us and available to anyone who has been attuned to access it, a little like being able to tune in to a different radio station.

Reiki is an old tradition that was part of a whole way of life including healing techniques and self awareness, as a means of living life in harmony and happiness. Other healing techniques such as acupuncture and reflexology also aim to generate harmony and balance in your chi/Ki.

You don’t have to believe in Reiki for it to work, just an open mind and willingness to receive the energy. Reiki is not a religion or a cult, and you don’t have to be religious for it to work either! If you want to learn it for yourself, an attunement will start you off on the path, but practise is key to tuning into the energy more quickly and efficiently. Reiki is something you should always practise on yourself regularly once you’re attuned.

Reiki treats not just physical symptoms and illnesses, but also mental and emotional dis-ease, to create balance. While it can be used to target specific areas of pain or concern, Reiki may often find something else of more urgency to treat first. It’s a little like throwing a bucket of water over a piece of ground that’s full of potholes, some will fill up faster than others, some will be deeper and need more water to fill.  Reiki goes where it’s needed most.

So what is a Reiki treatment like? Well, it varies from person to person. To some, it may be a feeling of warmth/heat, while others may feel an icy cold (usually if they need it!). There may be a tingling sensation, or a feeling of butterflies, not always in the immediate area being treated. For some, there may be no sensation at all if you’re not in the mood for it. Whatever you feel, or don’t feel, you should experience a growing sense of relaxation. Sometimes you may be so deeply relaxed you doze off.

Treatment takes place fully clothed, either sitting or lying down, whichever is most comfortable. It can be hands-on or hands-off, with the person being treated in person or remotely at distance. This is often one of the hardest things for someone being treated to get their heads round, but it is just as effective at distance as face to face. In some instances it can even be more effective, if someone is particularly stressed out. The practitioner doesn’t even have to meet the person they treat at distance, often just a photo or name will be sufficient as a way of focussing the intent.

There are many different branches of Reiki, Usui Reiki being the most commonly practised method. I prefer to teach and practise a method called Kundalini Reiki, which is really simple to learn and use.  There are no complicated symbols to learn, all it needs is intent.

Reiki is a great healing technique for relieving stress either in yourself or others. If you’re pregnant, it can be a wonderful way of bonding with your unborn baby, by sending Reiki energy to your bump!  As a parent, it can reduce stress, increase your energy levels and help you manage the challenges of parenting…and is great to use on babies and toddlers.  I spent many a night using Reiki to help soothe my baby’s colic and teething pains.

On a simpler level, a friend’s husband swears their wine always tastes better once it’s had Reiki! It’s also a very effective technique to use with pets to calm them down. Last year, my dog spent the whole evening of 5th November sleeping through the fireworks outside following a Reiki session. On the evenings he didn’t get Reiki, he was on heavy sedatives but still obviously terrified.

Have you had a Reiki treatment? How was it for you? Are you interested in being attuned to use Reiki for yourself?

I’m not the only one shouting this at the moment.  Some schools are already closed for the summer. Ours break up on Friday.

Are you exhausted?

My 2 boys are exhausted from their learning and full out of school timetable of activities. No. 2 even went to school crying on Monday because he was so tired, (not helped by 2 late nights admittedly, but it is the end of term, and us parents were selfish in wanting to relax with friends). You can see it on the football pitch that all these 6yo are just plain tired. They can’t run around any more. Their bodies need a break.

I’m exhausted with running the family logistics. Even having one of those family calendars where we all have a different column doesn’t help the actual “who needs to be where with what equipment, and who’s able to take and collect?” questions. Having to think a few days in advance about washing clothes that are needed for such and such, or doing the shopping because “I can’t do it then”, uses brain power.

I’m tired, but have to say exhilerated, from running my business. bras4mums agents are being talked to, slotted into training sessions, and the office is getting more organised to enable us to support them and the online sales more efficiently. I’ve been working on the foundations of the website structure; creating new websites to support the agents; blogging for business and pleasure; planning new lines for bras4mums and bras4all. Wow! No wonder I’m tired!

I’m also tired of the family stuff. My brother has had a tough 6 months, and I guess I still have concerns for my Dad, even though he is very happy with his girlfriend, a year on from Mum’s death.

My husband’s family have also had a tough time. His Dad is having health worries, and his Mum being a worrier anyway is worrying even more!

So, we’re SO READY for our 2 week break! It’s a long time since we’ve had 2 weeks off together. We’re going abroad to an apartment in a quiet part of Germany. We’re taking clothes, bikes, store cupboard items and a football. What else could we possibly need? I don’t remember a time that we’ve all needed a break like this.

Maybe the boys are just older and because they’re doing more, get more tired throughout the year? Maybe it’s a combination of all of the above? Whatever it is, we’re going away. I’m not saying we’re going to be totally uncontactable, or in touch with people who we need to support. But the service will be greatly reduced, (don’t worry bra customers – the office is manned by a trained & experienced bra fitter who can help you with your queries).

But, to reap the rewards, this week is mad busy! We’re getting more tired tidying and cleaning the house, catching up on ironing and packing the suitcase, finishing off work lists and visiting and talking to people before we go away.

I have learnt from previous experience – if you need a break, take it. You’re not doing yourself, your family, friends and/or business any good if you’re not functioning properly. So, get some time set aside…..to do NOTHING!