When Erica’s Guest Post Day came around again, I was keen to join in. And I was really excited to be paired up with T-J. I am so impressed by all the mums I meet in the blogging and twitter community who run their own businesses, and fit in being mums too.
So who am I? I’m bumbling, and I blog over at BumblingAlong.wordpress.com, and am addicted to twitter, where I tweet as @BumblingTweets.
Swapping blogs with T-J for the day has made me think even more about that thorny topic of working mums. I’ve recently been mulling over that balance between work, career, ambition and achievement, and home, life, family and children. It’s a toughie. I’m certain I’m not getting it right, but I’m not convinced their is a right answer.
From the outside looking in, I envy women like T-J who have taken their entrepreneurial spirit and built their own business that fits around their life. But I bet that it’s not all a bed of roses from the inside. It’s a path I’m interested in, but am scared to take. Scared because it’s a risk, and not just for fear of embarrassment if I don’t succeed, but also because I need consistent earnings for us to continue to live in the manner in which I’ve become accustomed to.
So where I am?
I’m not an entrepreneur – I am an employee. But I am a professional person – a lawyer. Before I had Moo, I worked full time (and more) forging a career in the law, built on my technical skills and my skills as a trainer and mentor.
But I can’t work those hours and look after Moo.
Let’s look at the practicalities. There are no nurseries which open longer hours than 8-6. This does not even let me work a standard working day at my office (9.15 – 5.30) and manage the (relatively short compared to many people) commute. Never mind those extra hours.
And those nurseries are expensive. I’m very lucky – I do earn substantially more per day than I pay in nursery fees, so it is financially viable for me to work. But we spend more on nursery fees than we do on our mortgage. I don’t know how people on lower wages cope. Or those with more than one child in nursery…
But it’s not just about the practicalities. I love being a mum. I really do. Moo is a fantastic little girl – no longer a baby. But I was a lawyer for a long time before I became a mum, and I was a lawyer when I thought that I wouldn’t be able to have children. I studied for 5 years at university. I trained for 2 years. And I’ve been working as a qualified solicitor for almost 9 years (oh my goodness, that makes me sound old!). I put a lot of effort into this career, studying, learning, building expertise, building relationships. If I didn’t have Moo, this is what I would be doing still.
And it’s hard to give that up. When I was on maternity leave, I planned to come back to work full time. As part of a redundancy exercise, my firm asked if anyone was willing to take on flexible working to save jobs, and I volunteered to cut 2 days a week. It seemed like a good opportunity at the time, and would reduce the redundancies in my team.
And now I love having those extra two days a week with Moo.
But in three days a week at work, I can do my job, but not build my career. I’ve been back 6 months, and whilst I still enjoy my job, the spark isn’t there as clearly as it was, because I know I can’t achieve the projects I would like to in these limited hours.
So what gives? My boss would like me to move up to 4, or even 5 days a week. She thinks I can go places, but I need to put in the work.
Moo is happy at nursery. She loves the contact with other kids and the stimulation they give her there.
But I will miss her. And I’m not sure how I’ll cope with the pressures of career and motherhood. Whatever happens, Moo is my number 1 priority, and if she needs me, I’ll be there. I’ll make sure that the time I do spend with her is quality. But am I wrong in thinking she doesn’t actually need me to be at home as much as I am at the moment? Or should I put my career on hold and spend as much time with her as I can whilst I can…
