Life moves on – a new chapter

There’s lots happening over here right now. “There always is”, I hear you cry! Well, yes, I guess.

Right now I’m changing the shape of the business to meet demands I hadn’t foreseen & using technology that didn’t exist a few months ago. I’m getting ready to step up to new challenges in the Bra Lady business by opening up training to anyone who wants to be a bra fitter and / or set up their own lingerie business. It’s all very exciting!

Ben-DaffodilDoddle14-smToday though could be a big step for my eldest son. As some of you know he’s very sporty and as a gifted and talented child in his first year at secondary school, we’ve got some decisions to make to support his next steps. We know life is full of paths and decisions which ones to take, but as a 12 year old, how do we help them make the ‘right’ decisions?

No. 1 has been offered an opportunity to be part of a coaching structure which we, as parents who’ve done quite a bit of research, believe will support his development in sport. It’s a big step though. His biggest fear, I think, is not knowing anyone. The decision is his to make, and if this opportunity isn’t right, we’ll search for something else that is.

I’d be interested to hear how you have helped your children make some of the ‘big decisions’ in their life.


5 thoughts on “Life moves on – a new chapter

  1. Our children face very few decisions that they have to stick with for years. Most can be reviewed, changed and new direction set pretty quickly. Childhood is a time for trying things out and one of the things parents can do is support their kids venture into new areas. Part of that is probably not giving their decisions the irrevocable feel of the bigger decisions we have to make as adults (moving to a new town, changing career, having kids!), by breaking more challenging leaps into smaller steps: ‘try it for a week or two’; ‘give it a go until the summer holiday’ and helping them review whether it feels right regularly.
    Not knowing anyone is one of the most nerve-wracking things for my kids (as it still is for me) when trying something new. And I’ve seen how one of my sons thrived as a footballer when with friends, where he hadn’t in a group without his mates. It comes down to the individual and where the balance of their interest in the sport (or other activity) lies: achievement or camaraderie (not that they cannot co-exist).
    Overall, I’d suggest the danger is making a decision seem too big when really it isn’t. I also think kids, particularly academically able children like your son, may benefit from taking a few wrong turns, so that they see that no permanent damage is done and experimentation is at worst harmless and at best highly beneficial.

  2. Such wise words. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I wrote the post before we left the house. We’ve had a lovely evening really. Youngest told eldest, “you’re special & talented. Just do what’s right for you”. Awww! Coach was brilliant and talked through different options. We all said we can try & adapt & amend, as needed, and nothing is set in stone. He’s even been asked to bring a friend, which actually brought a smile to his lips!
    I think the main thing is that he knows, ideally, he needs to do something different. But, like all of us, change isn’t easy!
    Interesting about son being with mates affecting performance! I find all this quite fascinating!
    Thank you. :-)

  3. It sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing for your son. It’s a great opportunity and you’ve researched it. You’re not pressuring him, you’re leaving it to him to take the decision.
    The friends thing is an interesting one. For years my daughter (who’s now 8) danced in a dance class without friends, but gradually friends joined. She’s been offered the chance to do ballet with the older girls as well as her own class, but it is the lack of friends which is holding her back. I think this is a real shame, but friends are so important to kids.
    Good luck to you and your son, whatever you decide!

  4. I think you’ve reveived some very thoughtful comments I would echo the idea that sometimes we need to let our children do things that they might no succed in firsdt time. So that they have had the experience of coping with setbacks and how to deal with them. I also think that children, especially bright ones have an excellent gut instinct for what is right for them. There is no doubt that working with people we don’t know is a massive skill to have. I’m sure your son would know whether he is ready to make that step.

  5. Thanks both. I’m not sure I really understood the friends thing with no.1, as even though he says he has lots of friends at school, he hasn’t been one for inviting them home, or spending time with them outside of school. He seems to be very popular in all areas of life, we just don’t get to meet them!
    An update – he’s decided to give it a go next week & see how he feels. His words, “I know it’s the best thing for me, but, I’m not sure I want to do it without other people”. I’m sure we’re all learning from this, and TennisDadUK, you’re right, he does need to have setbacks. This may just be part of that.

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